teenwitch: DEADLY FOUR LOKO, A POORLY WRITTEN RANT Ok, I’m getting really sick of hearing about this on the news. For starters, I don’t even like this shit. It tastes horrible, so this is not a biased rant in it’s favor. That said, these douchebags want to ban this drink because of it’s OMG INCREDIBLY HIGH alcohol content. Three days ago on the news they said it has as much alcohol as 4 beers. Today they said it has as much as 6 beers. Are people so fucking stupid that they just buy into this shit without doing some basic math? Let’s think about this… 1 Four Loko is around 24 oz at 12% alcohol. 1 AVERAGE beer is 12 oz at 5-6% alcohol. That is TWO BEERS OF AVERAGE TO VERY SLIGHTLY ABOVE AVERAGE ALCOHOL CONTENT. Not 6 beers, not 4 beers, not even 2 and half beers.  But wait! It’s killing people! Every single dumb fucker who has died from drinking Four Loko has died the same as any other dumbass who dies from drinking too much. Take this recent event: So… the dumb bitch got drunk and drove a car and had an accident? Because of Four Loko? Yes, the alcohol was involved in her death, but how many alcohol-related driving deaths were recorded in the U.S. in 2004? 16,694. Four Loko was introduced in 2005. Plus this girl didn’t even wreck her own car, she swiped someone’s keys after her friends took hers away. Can’t blame the friends, they did the right thing. BUT THIS IS AMERICA, SOMEONE OR SOMETHING OTHER THAN THE ATTRACTIVE WHITE GIRL FROM A GOOD FAMILY MUST BE BLAMED FOR HER ACTIONS. Anything of course, other than the girl herself. This could have happened with ANY dumb bitch and enough booze of ANY type. http://www.myfoxdc.com/dpp/news/maryland/maryland-family-blames-four-loko-alcoholic-energy-drink-for-daughters-driving-death-111210  But wait! It’s so little liquid to consume for such a high alcohol intake!  Have you ever heard of a shot? The most popular liquors worldwide are vodka, whiskey, and rum. Their average alcohol contents are about 40%. That’s about one average beer’s worth in a 1.5oz glass. That’s a LOT of alcohol for one little gulp.  But wait! It’s not obviously a powerful drink! It looks the same as any other 22oz-24oz beer!  Well aside from the clearly indicated alcohol percentage, the can is the same size and shape. Some poor blind bastard is going to drink himself to death. How about the other seemingly average beer-like drinks that contain high alcohol content? Like say, Colt 45 High Gravity. Looks like any other innocent 24oz can of something like Bud Light. But no, those clever tricksters at the brewery jacked that shit up to 8.5%. Or, as I’ve seen in some liquor stores in Maryland, 12.5% (HIGHER than Four Loko). There’s also Earthquake (12%), Evil Eye (10%), and wait…. JOOSE. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joose Looks a lot like Four Loko! Contains the same amount of alcohol as Four Loko too! HMMM. Where’s the outcry about this? But wait! It contains caffeine! Have you ever had a Jack and Coke? Rum and Coke? So we’re back to the liquor argument, but with the addition of deadly caffeine. Guess what? Over 50% of Americans drink 3-4 cups of coffee a day. Hell, many people drink coffee to help soothe a hangover. So let’s not try and cry about their being added moisture to the air we breathe when it rains outside (to make a generous comparison). And if you think Four Loko was the first alcoholic beverage to contain caffeine then let’s take a trip back in time to 2002 and have a look at the flavor abomination that is Sparks. 6% alcohol at 16oz makes it pretty damn close to half of one Four Loko. Shall I mention Joose again as well? But wait! The can is so colorful it’s attractive to kids! Oh I love this argument. Maybe you should WATCH WHAT YOUR STUPID KIDS ARE DOING AND TEACH THEM TO READ SO THAT IT TAKES MORE THAN SOME PRETTY COLORS TO TURN THEIR HEADS. But wait! No, fuck you. Quit trying to babysit us adults and regulate what we put into our bodies. Drinking and driving is stupid, drinking and fucking is usually even more tragic, but drinking shitty tasting carbonated crap that contains alcohol is your right as an American and a human. As long as you are not hurting anyone else or putting them at risk (see: drinking and driving), it’s no one else’s fucking business. Keep banning it, they’ll come up with something else. Something worst tasting and more powerful. Or of course, you can ban alcohol altogether. That went over really well last time. Did I cover everything? Either way, this should be enough. Maybe we should start focusing on the BIG problems going on in our country right now, perhaps that could potentially curb so many people’s need for a cheap and powerful drink to dilute their misery. Please reblog, repost, print this out, tattoo it on your ass or otherwise spread this message. People are too fucking stupid these days I swear.  Sources:   Common Sense http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0908129.html http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_(drink) http://liquorassets.com/most-popular/ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcohol_by_volume http://www.cdc.gov/alcohol/faqs.htm http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2002/11/14/sunday/main529388.shtml http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sparks_(drink) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joose http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_percentage_of_Americans_consumes_caffeine_daily im going loko for 4loko

teenwitch:

DEADLY FOUR LOKO, A POORLY WRITTEN RANT

Ok, I’m getting really sick of hearing about this on the news. For starters, I don’t even like this shit. It tastes horrible, so this is not a biased rant in it’s favor. That said, these douchebags want to ban this drink because of it’s OMG INCREDIBLY HIGH alcohol content. Three days ago on the news they said it has as much alcohol as 4 beers. Today they said it has as much as 6 beers. Are people so fucking stupid that they just buy into this shit without doing some basic math? Let’s think about this…

1 Four Loko is around 24 oz at 12% alcohol. 1 AVERAGE beer is 12 oz at 5-6% alcohol. That is TWO BEERS OF AVERAGE TO VERY SLIGHTLY ABOVE AVERAGE ALCOHOL CONTENT. Not 6 beers, not 4 beers, not even 2 and half beers. 

But wait! It’s killing people!

Every single dumb fucker who has died from drinking Four Loko has died the same as any other dumbass who dies from drinking too much. Take this recent event:

So… the dumb bitch got drunk and drove a car and had an accident? Because of Four Loko? Yes, the alcohol was involved in her death, but how many alcohol-related driving deaths were recorded in the U.S. in 2004? 16,694. Four Loko was introduced in 2005. Plus this girl didn’t even wreck her own car, she swiped someone’s keys after her friends took hers away. Can’t blame the friends, they did the right thing. BUT THIS IS AMERICA, SOMEONE OR SOMETHING OTHER THAN THE ATTRACTIVE WHITE GIRL FROM A GOOD FAMILY MUST BE BLAMED FOR HER ACTIONS. Anything of course, other than the girl herself. This could have happened with ANY dumb bitch and enough booze of ANY type.

http://www.myfoxdc.com/dpp/news/maryland/maryland-family-blames-four-loko-alcoholic-energy-drink-for-daughters-driving-death-111210 

But wait! It’s so little liquid to consume for such a high alcohol intake! 

Have you ever heard of a shot? The most popular liquors worldwide are vodka, whiskey, and rum. Their average alcohol contents are about 40%. That’s about one average beer’s worth in a 1.5oz glass. That’s a LOT of alcohol for one little gulp. 

But wait! It’s not obviously a powerful drink! It looks the same as any other 22oz-24oz beer! 

Well aside from the clearly indicated alcohol percentage, the can is the same size and shape. Some poor blind bastard is going to drink himself to death. How about the other seemingly average beer-like drinks that contain high alcohol content? Like say, Colt 45 High Gravity. Looks like any other innocent 24oz can of something like Bud Light. But no, those clever tricksters at the brewery jacked that shit up to 8.5%. Or, as I’ve seen in some liquor stores in Maryland, 12.5% (HIGHER than Four Loko). There’s also Earthquake (12%), Evil Eye (10%), and wait…. JOOSE. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joose Looks a lot like Four Loko! Contains the same amount of alcohol as Four Loko too! HMMM. Where’s the outcry about this?

But wait! It contains caffeine!

Have you ever had a Jack and Coke? Rum and Coke? So we’re back to the liquor argument, but with the addition of deadly caffeine. Guess what? Over 50% of Americans drink 3-4 cups of coffee a day. Hell, many people drink coffee to help soothe a hangover. So let’s not try and cry about their being added moisture to the air we breathe when it rains outside (to make a generous comparison). And if you think Four Loko was the first alcoholic beverage to contain caffeine then let’s take a trip back in time to 2002 and have a look at the flavor abomination that is Sparks. 6% alcohol at 16oz makes it pretty damn close to half of one Four Loko. Shall I mention Joose again as well?

But wait! The can is so colorful it’s attractive to kids!

Oh I love this argument. Maybe you should WATCH WHAT YOUR STUPID KIDS ARE DOING AND TEACH THEM TO READ SO THAT IT TAKES MORE THAN SOME PRETTY COLORS TO TURN THEIR HEADS.

But wait!

No, fuck you. Quit trying to babysit us adults and regulate what we put into our bodies. Drinking and driving is stupid, drinking and fucking is usually even more tragic, but drinking shitty tasting carbonated crap that contains alcohol is your right as an American and a human. As long as you are not hurting anyone else or putting them at risk (see: drinking and driving), it’s no one else’s fucking business. Keep banning it, they’ll come up with something else. Something worst tasting and more powerful. Or of course, you can ban alcohol altogether. That went over really well last time.

Did I cover everything? Either way, this should be enough. Maybe we should start focusing on the BIG problems going on in our country right now, perhaps that could potentially curb so many people’s need for a cheap and powerful drink to dilute their misery.

Please reblog, repost, print this out, tattoo it on your ass or otherwise spread this message. People are too fucking stupid these days I swear. 

Sources:  

im going loko for 4loko

Posted 1 year ago